[Juicing Cleanse: Se'Stan Juicery Downtown LA]

Well now, it's a new year and one full of changes and epiphanies. Well, maybe not so much epiphanies but the realization that I'm five years away from 30 and my metabolism is not going to get any better. That 30 lbs I've put on since I've started dating K? (I know, I'm ashamed too, damn you love weight!) Gotta go!

My new pet is juicing, which any girl worth her weight in Jimmy Choos and Vogue magazines probably already knows about. I've heard girls rave about how "cleansing" it is but I have my doubts about keeping the weight off. "It's not about the weight, it's about cleaning your system," my friend informed me. Alright then, this should be a good way to start the year then, right?

I picked up a 3 day cleanse from Sustain Juicery (who spells it Se'Stan? I'm not sure but the logo says it like that.) $39 for 18 bottles of juice and if you pick it up in person, you get 3 extra smoothies. Unfortunately my time is worth more than the 3 smoothies so I forked over $12 with my credit card by phone to have them deliver it to K's house, which barely makes the delivery radius.

K has little faith in my ability to maintain this juicing and I admit, I'm off to a bad start already. I have to go to Laguna Nigel tomorrow for a job that requires I eat dinner and breakfast, so I really don't know how that'll work. I intend to juice all the way until dinner though and pick up for lunch the next day. Hopefully I won't do much harm taking a break mid-way.

Alright, here we go then...

www.sustainjuicery.com/

Chopsticks 102: Things My Mother Said This Week

(To my 4 month old puppy) “Hurry and have babies! Grandma will help you deliver and then I’ll take one and it will be so much more well-mannered than you!”

“You know he’s only with you because you’re young but soon he’ll realize you’re going to get old and fat and then he’ll be stingy with his money and never let you buy anything!”

“Make sure to eat less! Or better, don’t eat at all!”

“Why did you make my granddaughter so ugly? You know your aunt is visiting in two weeks! Grow faster! Grow faster!” To the dog.

“Why can’t you lose weight? You’re so young but you look like an old lady! What’s going to happen when you get older? There’s no such thing as ugly girls only lazy girls!”

(My brother got a Mr. T haircut so we tried to teach my mother to say "I pity the fool!")

"I pidy what? I pidy food? What I want food for? What food! Why you eat food?"